Lindon and I are listening to the book Soul Detox by Craig Groeschel. He and his wife, Amy, have six children. In the book he shares that people tease him incessantly about having so many kids. “Don’t you know what causes that?” he hears time and time again. His favorite retort is that no matter how hard he tries to resist his wife, she just can’t keep her hands off of him. Amy isn’t crazy about the joke – but we sure are!
A pastor with a sense of humor AND joking about intimacy? Heck yeah!
Lindon and I had the pleasure of meeting Dr. Gary Chapman when he spoke at the 5 Love Languages DateNight event in Mesa, AZ just the other day. If he said it once, he said it a zillion times, LOVE matters…and it matters a lot! We each have different ways we show love, and all have individual desires in how we enjoy receiving it, but regardless, love is very important! Important enough to discuss, figure out and get right!
When it comes to affection, though, people can get downright uncomfortable. One of the 5 love languages, physical touch had the most people squirming in their seats.
Before Dr. Chapman spoke, the warm-up band played some slow, romantic dance music (WHO can resist getting lovey-dovey to Journey???) and encouraged the crowd more than once to get up and dance in the aisles. Some did. We did! Most did not. We looked around and observed so many men looking completely miserable – and their women clearly disappointed.
My husband has a saying, “What’s missin’? It might be the kissin’!” Hopefully I’ll get a blog out of him on this subject because it makes an important point and I’d love to have the male perspective shared.
(If you’re one of our kids, you may want to stop reading at this point; we don’t want to gross you out!)
For us – We LOOOOVE kissin’!
We love dancing. We love holding hands. We love leaving notes for each other. We love laughing at private jokes in public. We love being playful. We love date nights. We love makin’ love. God desires for us to enjoy these earthly delights. While some pleasures are intended to be enjoyed just within the confines of marriage, all are ultimately created and provided by God.
Have you ever read the Song of Solomon, also referred to as the Song of Songs, in the Old Testament? It’s arguably the most romantic book in the bible; some portions are even quite sexually explicit.
Donald E. Curtis, a contributing author for From Creation to the Cross on bible.org writes,“Since the Lord intended the Song of Songs to be part of His message, it is our responsibility to profit by it. Let us note, for example, that modern sexuality is primarily about entertainment and marketing. It is in our movies, our books, and our advertisements. It is certainly out of control. The Song’s sexuality is chaste, self-giving, and bonding. It should be understood, taught, and emulated.” He further continues, “The Song of Songs vividly and brightly tells us how the bridegroom and the bride rejoice over each other and delight in each other.”
Does it surprise you that this is IN the bible? Solomon addresses intimacy and sexuality head on. It’s God created and provided for a reason and we are to profit by it. Crazy, huh?
Lindon and I refer to sex as a ‘vacuum’. It creates a bond with an incredible suction force, and no, I’m not talking physically here. An EMOTIONAL bond! We believe this is a strong argument for why sex should be reserved for married couples. Sex without commitment can bring on a host of problems, but we’ll save that for another blog post…
The point is to embrace what God has given you. Everything he’s blessed us with has purpose and meaning. The intimacy we’ve been given, when enjoyed in a healthy marriage, provides bonding, unity, pleasure, comfort, security, fun, adventure, passion, excitement and a whole lot more!
If RED HOT doesn’t describe your love life, perhaps it’s time to step up your game and use the God-given gifts you’ve got. Recapture, or create for the first time, the LOVE that God desires you to have.
KISS!! TOUCH!! DANCE!! HOLD HANDS!! FLIRT WITH YOUR SPOUSE!! GO ON DATE NIGHTS!! BE PLAYFUL!! MAKE LOVE!!
Go for RED HOT LOVE people! ‘Make it’ happen! And yes, pun intended!