Today’s post is going to be short…and not so sweet.
Don’t say you’re sorry if you don’t mean it…and we mean that!
Last year we attended a coaching / counseling conference and had the pleasure of listening to Dr. Gary Oliver teach on anger. It was one of our favorite seminars and we learned so much in the short time we were with him.
One of the key concepts he spoke to is that the phrase ‘I’m sorry’ is overused and abused.
When you say ‘I am sorry’, what are you often saying?
Here are some common thoughts:
- I’m sorry I got caught
- I’m sorry I have to sit here and listen to you complain
- I’m sorry for the moment, but I probably won’t feel the regret in another 5 minutes
These have NOTHING to do with what the TRUE intent of what an apology should convey.
What SHOULD “I’m sorry” mean?
- It means that you are truly sorry
- It means that you’re admitting fault
- It means that you’re asking for forgiveness with NO expectation
- It means that you are going to put things in place to ensure that you never, ever do it again
Each component of a genuine apology is important, but to promise to never commit the infraction again – to agree to be proactive in making sure it never, EVER happens in the future, is by far and large the most important.
To apologize, to truly mean it, and then make the intentional effort to ‘right the wrong’, is one of the most heartfelt ways to show someone you love them.
Don’t say you’re sorry unless you absolutely, 100% mean it. Easy concept… difficult follow through – but worth every ounce of the work. Your relationships will be better for it, trust levels will increase, communication will improve and God will have room to grow and work in your life.
Make your apology count!