Seems like kind of a strange question, right? But, when you understand what I’m referring to, you’ll find that it’s likely something you have considered more times than you might care to admit.
When you are getting ready for a party, event or gathering, who are you thinking of when you get dressed?
It’s a legitimate question and the answer is very telling.
Where’s your head?
- Is it caught up in your competition?
- Or perhaps consumed with your ex or your spouse’s ex?
- Are you married but still vying for the attention of members of the opposite sex?
Are you dressing to impress the wrong person or people?
I used to. A lot.
I was totally hung up on worrying about what other people thought, and the unfortunate truth is, it was for the wrong people and the wrong reasons.
Not something I am particularly proud of.
** If I knew my ex-husband was going to be at a party I was attending, likely with his new flame of the week in tow, I would make sure to look my absolute best!
** If I knew a particular woman was going to be present, one that had a knack for being impeccably dressed and always perfectly put together, I took my game up another notch.
I was always considering my ‘audience’, AKA the guest list, when preparing.
I generally try to look my best, but there’s no denying that I put in a little extra effort when swayed by unhealthy motivation.
Sad but true.
Why did I worry about such things? Envy? Insecurity? Arrogance? Maybe a little bit of each? Regardless of the cause, this behavior pattern kept me in bondage to a competitive, prideful, discontented spirit.
I can tell you with honesty and confidence that my misguided focus from long ago has been completely replaced with a healthy attitude and perspective. God has guided me through scripture, life circumstance and consequence to a place where I am fueled by concerning myself with the choices that should and do count.
Replacing negative mental clutter with positive, healthy thoughts is incredibly freeing. It leads to a fruitful, optimistic and joy filled life.
Having my priorities in order is a beautiful thing!
Today, when I’m getting dressed, the first person I think of is my husband. In fact, he’s usually the ONLY one I think of. Will he like my outfit? My hair? My jewelry? Will he think it’s appropriate for the event? Will he think I look fit? Pretty? Sexy?
Okay, before you start thinking I’ve lost my identity and I allow my husband’s likes to overshadow my own thoughts and feelings, let me continue.
Anyone that knows me knows I have my own mind and I’m not afraid to use it. It’s just that in the process, I care deeply what my husband thinks and it brings me tremendous joy to please him. I love to see his eyes light up and get a special ‘eyebrow raise’ of approval. A simple, “You look beautiful honey,” makes my heart flutter!
We are not superficial and there are plenty of other attributes, aside from physical appearance, that Lindon and I enjoy about each other. I am certainly spoiled with compliments on everything from my brains to my stick-to-itiveness to my nurturing ability and love for doing the ‘small stuff’. Dressing well for my husband is just one of the ways I show him I care and he’s important – and it’s something he admires and appreciates.
And what’s ironic is this confidence has allowed me to comfortably swing a 180 and enjoy a no make-up, hair in a bun, sweat pants kind of day with less guilt than ever before. Lindon loves me just the same and shows me equal attention regardless of how I look – which makes it even more fun to ‘clean up well’!
Now, when I walk into a room, I don’t care who is there, what they are wearing or how they look. I don’t think about it beforehand, I prepare no differently and my attitude doesn’t change. It’s wonderful!
So I ask you again, who do you get dressed for?
Did this hit home? Do you have some work to do? Or is your focus where it should be? Do men suffer from the same mental clutter? I’d really love to hear your take!
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