In a world filled with so many nasty, mean-spirited people who are always judging, condemning, and belittling, wouldn’t it be a comfort to have your very own fan club? People always there to listen, sympathize, and emphasize. A shoulder to cry would never be far away and words of affirmation available any time you need them.
Then consider creating your own personal Rah Rah Club!
What exactly does this mean?
Ahhh, it feels so good to be heard. Understood. Sometimes even pitied, although we’re often reticent to admit such an appreciation.
Just think, you could have all of this…and more!
At first thought, this sounds like a little slice of heaven, doesn’t it? We all need a little Rah Rah in our lives, don’t we?
I’m going to argue, NO, we don’t. Not this kind of rah rah! And I’m going to ask that you not buy into this deception.
Membership has its privileges. Guess what you also get for the bargain price of absurdity?
The total absence of any critical input or advice. Zero judgment. No criticism whatsoever.
So right about now you’re wondering what my problem is. What’s wrong with loving encouragement and sympathy? And why would I willingly seek and sign up for critical feedback?
Because I don’t want encouragement to wallow in my self-pity, nor do I need sympathy when the better lesson and advice would be learning how to deal with my issues and get back up on my feet again.
Critical feedback is critically important.
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I crave learning and growth. I strive daily to be a better person. I want to be a responsible adult. Desperately.
And not only do I endeavor to continually improve myself, but I aspire to be a healthy, positive example to those around me. To my husband, kids, grandkids, sisters, cousins, friends, etc. All of them!
I can do none of these things if I am consumed with licking my wounds and having others join in by stroking my bruised ego.
That’s not to say that once in a while I don’t need or want a heartfelt hug or word of compassion, but these experiences should lift me up and push me forward. If you really love me, don’t detain me in the bondage of stagnancy and defeat, but instead, brush my knees off and send me on my way!
Unfortunately, though, there are many people committed to living a miserable, self-absorbed existence. Those who don’t want to fix, but instead would rather fret, fuss, and find fault. They may not see it that way, but that’s precisely what they are doing.
I call them ‘Professional Victims’, and let me assure you, it’s not a term of endearment! My husband says it’s the ‘Woe is Me’ syndrome. In either case, the objective is the same. Feel sorry for me and let me know you do!
We know the president of a very active Rah Rah Club. Unfortunately, his ‘support group’ has disabled him instead of enabling and equipping him to deal with people and manage challenges. Relationships have suffered and hearts have been broken. The fallout caused by his reliance on the Rah Rah Club has produced long term, devastating, and life-altering damage. He has a group of people around him telling him that everything he does is good and right and correct, when it clearly isn’t, and reaffirming his belief that everyone who doesn’t agree with him is evil and bad, which they aren’t. And the people who speak loving truth? They are ignored, avoided, and in some cases, completely ostracized. It’s a mess!
We also know members who are active participants in a Rah Rah Club. We’ve discovered these individuals fit into several distinct categories.
- Me First – I want to be the first one called in an emergency, for a problem, or if you just need to complain. I want to hear everything before anyone else does, and I will comfort and console you as long as it takes to keep your attention.
- 911 – I’m a first responder at heart, ready to rescue you at the first sign of trouble. I want to be your hero!
- I Know Not What I Do – I’m unhealthy myself and just don’t realize the extent of the damage I’m causing and perpetuating. I do love you, but it’s a misguided, harmful love.
- Misery Loves Company – I want to be around likeminded people so I’ve signed up for your club. Isn’t that the goal of any group?
- Sweetsy Sweetsy – I just want to love you to death. And then some! I don’t want you sad, confused, hurt, lonely, or otherwise upset. Nope, not even for one solitary second.
- Drama – I can’t live without it. Day in and day out, drama central at its best. Or really, its worst! I thrive on turmoil and gossip and would love to dive headfirst into yours.
- Recruitment – Perhaps by being an active member in your club, you’ll consider being a new member in mine? The more the merrier I always say!
Do you recognize yourself as either a president or active member of a local Rah Rah Club chapter? Or perhaps both? If your answer is yes, it’s time to take a step back and sever ties immediately. No two week notice. No hanging on until the next election. No reimbursement for dues paid.
Just walk away.
And set firm boundaries.
Explain your new attitude and objective to the fellow presidents and members in your life and give clear parameters for new relationships.
If apologies are in order, extend them. In most cases, you initially extended the invitation, and if not, you readily latched on to any offers. Own your responsibility in this.
Do you have members in your club who aren’t agreeable or supportive of this shift? This is understandable. Revelation comes at different times for different people, but regardless, you must kindly declutter them! There’s no going back now. Knowledge is power, and now that you’re equipped, it’s full steam ahead.
Remember, this is about your life, your walk, your witness, and your health. You must come first and you must set the pace. And stick to it.
Declutter the Rah Rah Club(s) in your life and find the healing, maturity, wisdom, peace, and joy that’s already waiting for you.
And as always, Declutter Now!
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